(I just want to mention that this isn’t a series, it’s just what I have swirling in my mind for today and I’ve been wanting to write/type something for the past few days!)
Also, enter my international giveaway over at : http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/7996e9f32/?
So I have my weekly Violin classes on Sunday and this isn’t the first time I’ve picked up the violin!
I actually bought and picked up violin lessons when I was about 14, but I gave it up to lean piano instead (play by ear). Thank God I gave up violin that time, because I probably wasn’t ready and back then, the place that I went to, the teacher wasn’t great. He didn’t care to teach me properly and was always sloppy in his way of teaching.
So I stopped violin to play the piano and since I’ve always gone to private schools (they aren’t as expensive as people think), I learned how to ‘Play by ear’. But unfortunately for me, I didn’t manage to learn to play by ear.
So after stopping the piano (I was at level 3 and there were 4 levels) since my piano teacher was leaving (I had 3 teachers and I liked him the best), I left too. And after that, I signed up for violin classes at a school within walking distance of my house.
If I’m not wrong, I’ve been learning violin since I was 17, so it’s been 5-6 years!
And I never learned music because I wanted to be good. I was definitely liked it, of course (I was inspired by La Corda D’Oro – did anyone watch/read this manga too?), but it had always been a way for me to cope with my anxiety (since I never got it diagnosed, no therapy and no medicine).
Music has always helped, because in that moment, I don’t have to think about anything else, I just focus on the music, the instrument and trying to play the song.
My current violin teacher is definitely so much better. As a student I’m really quiet, but she doesn’t give up on me. And more importantly, she sees a lot of potential in me.
She doesn’t force me to practise (because she treats me like an adult) and really sees a ton of potential in me, which really helps! (Because if she didn’t believe in me, I would have given up a long time ago, I think.)
The violin is well known as one of the toughest instruments to master and I definitely agree!
My teacher has mentioned to me umpteen times that I actually should try to go for violin grade exams, and honestly, I want to too.
But then I always hear that voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough. My teacher asked out of curiosity why I didn’t want to try the exams, and in my head, I already knew who the culprit was.
There’s a healthy doubt and the unhealthy doubt. Mine is definitely the latter.
And it sucks, because I always end up looking down on myself and anything less than perfect is not acceptable.
I was definitely happy that my teacher saw my potential and honestly, I never saw my own potential in the violin either. I still think I suck at it.
My teacher definitely helped my esteem and tell me to think about it and when I casually mentioned it to my mum (I was definitely in a good mood after that), the first thing she said after that was “how are we going to afford a thousand dollar violin?”
And all long, I’ve always paid for things for my violin (even purchasing my current one). And honestly, despite both me and my sister not working, my family does actually earn quite a bit.
And I thought, as a parent, you would try to encourage your child to push themselves, to achieve more, but my parents want to drag me down instead and honestly that doesn’t help.
On a lighter note, what have you been up to this weekend and what will you be doing this week?
I’ve been reading a few books (and trying to get through my library books quickly). I really enjoyed The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White! Definitely check that out for a great Halloween read!
I’m currently watching the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and find it not bad! Definitely a little dark as well and great for Halloween!
And other than that, I’m mentally preparing myself for NaNoWriMo that starts on the 1st of November! I’m actually considering starting a few days early because my goal this time round is 75k words and that is insane because it means I would be writing EVERY DAY. The past few times, I usually had at least 2 or 3 days I could take a break. Or I might try to write more during the days, but I take a ton of time to write like 2.5k words (which is the base of each chapter).
So I’m a little conflicted!
But anyway, are you taking part in NaNoWriMo this year? If you are, let me know your schedule and how you’re doing!